Guys often write off foreplay as wasted time, but that is likely to lead to frustration for you AND her. In fact, foreplay is a crucial prerequisite for her to enjoy a mind-blowing orgasm.
1. TRY THIS GREAT WARMUP
The precoital massage: As a warmup to the main event, start by massaging the length of her legs, from her upper thighs down to her ankles. We recommend this Aromatherapy Massage Oil from the Men’s Health store.
Then focus on the feet, kneading her heels and all other points beneath. Then zero in on the toes and stretch them individually.
Of course, if her impeccable hygiene encourages you to suck her toes, you’ll have her in ecstasy.
2. ASK WHAT TURNS HER ON
Come right out and ask what she likes during sex.
“Most women appreciate men who want to make sure they’re satisfied,” says Barbara Bartlik, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at Cornell University. “If she notices you’re working hard to please her, she’ll be more likely to return the favor.”
And tell us: Is there a better place to develop your work ethic?
3. BOOST YOUR FOREPLAY QUOTIENT
Improve the quality of foreplay and she’ll never again bug you about the quantity.
“If you act as if you’re just going through the motions to get to the sex, she’s going to notice, and it will take longer for her to get excited,” says Michael Perry, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Encino, California.
So do what you want to do. If you like how her calves feel, stroke them. If you like her butt, kiss it.
“When a man is loving what he’s doing, it’s going to show through and turn her on, too,” says Perry.
4. GO EASY
Yes, the clitoris is the obvious place to focus your attention. Still, many men do wrong by it.
“Direct stimulation of the clitoris can actually be painful,” says Cathy Winks, author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot. “It’s much better to rub the clitoral hood [where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub along the side of the clitoris than it is to go straight for the head of it.”
When playing with the clitoris during oral sex, Birch’s advice is to “focus on the clitoris, then don’t focus on the clitoris. The clitoris reacts best to being teased, so you want to lick it and suck on it a little, build a little tension, then back off on it a bit before going at it again.”
By the way, this couple’s massager from the Men’s Health store will give you both mind-blowing sensations.
5. DRIVE HER WILD WITH THE ‘FIGURE 8’ TECHNIQUE
The figure-8 tongue technique: When you’re at her service down below, work the supersensitive area around her clitoris in a figure-8 pattern. Arouse her with gentle sucking until the little button swells, then carefully expose the area with your fingers.
Use the slippery underside of your tongue to circle it to the left and then to the right. With the rougher top side of the tongue, flick from right to left and then up and down. Finally work up to figure 8s, alternating between your tongue’s smooth underside and firmer tip. Constantly vary the degrees of pressure you use.
6. EXPAND YOUR REPERTOIRE
Expand your repertoire of oral sex with this method: You lie perpendicular to her body, which allows you to stroke her clitoris with your tongue in a crosswise motion, rather than up and down. She’ll appreciate the change in stimulation—hopefully, enough to return the reward.
7. A BODY PART YOU SHOULDN’T NEGLECT
Oft overlooked as mere roadblocks to the vagina, the labia are packed with nerve endings and are not to be ignored. Hold each one between your thumb and forefinger and massage it, working your way up and down.
Or, using all of your fingers and your palm, “smoosh” the labia together, almost like you’re (gently!) kneading dough.
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